Decide What Success Looks Like

“You are allowed to be both a masterpiece and a work in progress at the same time.” ~ Sophia Bush

Exploring One Step at a Time has grown from being something that I passively contemplate to a personal challenge meant to help me develop a deeper understanding of my patterns around inconsistency. A challenge for me to trace the roots of inconsistency in my life to their origin and to start pulling up the roots or rooted beliefs that triggered inconsistency.

My focus on the roots of inconsistency helps me pivot from the constantly doing-then-figuring-out-why mindset to more of understanding why I do, then deciding if the action is aligned. I see my actions as roots and have begun to trace the roots down to understand where they originate, and today I share one that has seemingly branched out to touch every part of my life, from how I sometimes view my body to how I measure my mental capacity.

I discovered the root is comparison. Not the kind where you compare yourself to another person, but the kind where you measure yourself against a standard with no clear source.

My inconsistency arose when I did the fact-checking, when I compared my results to those created by the vague authority of “them” or “they.” Even in areas where I knew I could benefit from focus and proven strategy, I found myself confused by the conflicting advice: do this, not that. No, actually, do that and not this.

Inconsistency was fueled by looking outside of myself, allowing someone or some system to define my path and what it looked like to be successful on that path. When the numbers didn’t add up, overwhelm would give way to frustration, which would lead to disappointment, shame, and then a hard stop.

So how do we stay the path, one step at a time, and feel good doing it? We start by rewriting the rules so they serve us. We see ourselves as beautifully unique and recognize that while some standards help us grow, others were never meant for us. And that’s okay.

We listen to our bodies, keep track of our thoughts, and honor our emotions as a way to gain deeper insight into who we are and what we need.

Nothing is written in stone, and that’s part of the beauty of the healing path. Be your own greatest teacher, guide, and source of wisdom, and watch healing unfold in its own time.

With love and gratitude,
Dana Andrea