The Solitude of Returning to Center

“Do not be deceived and thrown off by all the noises… hear the sound of the genuine in you.” ~ Howard Thurman

Continuing to unpack the layers of returning to center has uncovered so much. Yes, living from the outside in revealed the need to return, but what happens when we get back to ourselves is another layer of growth and healing.

Intentionally coming back to a place of peace within offers comfort, and it can also feel lonely at times. For me, returning to center shows me all the ways I’ve been living outside of myself, which calls for new choices, paradigm shifts, and pivots. Once I see something that needs to change for the sake of growth, I can’t ignore it or unsee it. Subtle disruptions to my peace begin to feel heavier, more distracting, and they demand my attention. As a result, there are places I can’t go back to, relationships I can no longer pour into, and “brain break” activities I need to release because the cost outweighs the brief lift in spirit.

On my most recent return, I met a heavy current of grief I’d been avoiding. November 23 marks four years since my father, Henry Smith, passed. He was a mentor, a friend, a model of letting love for people direct my work. Even with success beyond what I imagined, a sadness still lives with me. My dad should be here to see this, to experience it with me. In some sense he is watching, and I will always feel his energy. No matter how much time passes, the pain remains, moving in cycles.

The pain triggers avoidance, and with it, the temptation to step outside of myself for a reprieve. The truth is that no words from another and no activity can offer lasting comfort. The work is internal and, while lonely at times, it is the only way.

So how do we navigate the loneliness that can surface after we return to center?

We begin where we are. We name what is here with honesty. We tend to the body and breath first, then choose the next right step. From a yogic perspective, this looks like:

• Connect to the Breath. Spend three to five minutes with even breathing, making the exhale twice as long as the inhale to calm the nervous system.
  

• Cultivate Awareness in the Body. Feel the support beneath you, notice the energy around you, and observe how your body feels without fixing it.
  

• Reflect and Write. Set aside five to ten minutes to write freely: “What am I feeling, and where do I feel it?” • Express Loving-Kindness (Maitri). Close your eyes, place a hand on your heart, and affirm that your feelings are valid and that you are whole.
  

• Be in Community. Spend time with a loving community that supports who you are and knows how to hold safe space.
  

• Let It Go. Give yourself permission to release one small thing that drains you more than it restores you, and reclaim that time for rest or practice.

If we allow ourselves to sit with the loneliness that can arise when we return to center, our home, we may find a deep sense of peace, purpose, and inner strength we hadn’t fully seen. We get there one step, one breath at a time.

Thank you for the loving space to share my journey, reflections, and inspirations. Have a beautiful rest of your day.

With love and gratitude,
Dana Andrea

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